Known

I have recently...or not so recently discovered a new favorite musical artist. Now, as a person who owns a ridiculous amount of music (you don't even want to know the amounts I have spent on i-Tunes), this is a dangerous, but also thought-provoking thing. I seem to "go through" music quite quickly. I will buy a song, listen to it for a few weeks, then discard it for awhile until I decide to pick it up again and listen to it - and the sequence begins again.

I have done this with many artists - mostly main streaming musical geniuses - who come up with sometimes beautiful (and mostly just catchy) music that grabs my attention and keeps it for a bit. Every once in awhile I will keep an artist  or two that I rarely get sick of...such as Jimmy Eat World, Ray LaMontagne, Alanis Morisette, and Ryan Adams...just to name a few. I have found another!!  But she's not from the "normal" hemisphere of music that attracts my attention...but from the Christian music scene.

Crazy as it may seem to some, there are a few artists out there who are Christian and can make good music. It seems to be a rarity in my life that I actually enjoy ALL of the music from one artist, but for now, I have been blessed and found just that. Not only have I enjoyed this artists music, but her sense of the Lord is magnificent. She seems to get at the heart of many things that are going on in my life...not only musically (through the instruments), but lyrically as well.

I tend to be one of those people who cannot listen to the music and not hear the words - actually the words of most songs scream at me - whether good or bad. I don't know if this is because I just enjoy words and the way people form sentences...especially in music, or if it's the way I was raised with my mother being particularly fond of and talented in the musical sector of life? In other words, it speaks to me.

So, getting down to the nitty-gritty:
The name of the artist is Audrey Assad - I don't know too much about her background except that she is somehow friends with my friend Andrea, who initiated this musical relationship with my soul. Thank you Andrea!!

I have been so blessed over the past four months, seriously going to her album and just playing it whenever. I have played it for some of the women I meet with, for girls on retreat, for whoever wants to listen because it's just that awesome. She has a sound similar to Ingrid Michaelson or Joni Mitchell, but has very strong, beautiful analogies in her music.  Here's a sample of some of the picturesque lyrics that have really touched my soul:

Known by Audrey Assad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the dew falls on the blade
You have touched all this fragile frame
And as a mother knows her baby's face
You know me, You know me

As the summer air within my chest
I have breathed You deep down into my breast
And as You know the hairs upon my head
Every thought and every word I've said
Every thought and every word I've said


Refrain:
Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me

Oh, and as the exhilaration of autumn's bite
Oh, You have brought these tired bones to brilliant life
And as the swallow knows, she knows the sky
This is how it is with You and I
Oh, this is how it is with You and I

From the fall of my heart to the resurrection of my soul
You know me, God, and You know my ways
In my rising and my sitting down
You see me as I am, oh, see me as I am

And as a lover knows his beloved's heart
All the shapes and curves of her even in the dark
Oh, You have formed one in my inward parts
And You know me, You know me, yes

Savior, You, You have known me as I am
Oh, healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This song has particularly been touching my heart I think because the Lord wants this of me. It has also directly correlated with many of the things I have been hearing at various functions through work and my community. Such as on Friday I attended a prayer meeting with over 100 college students - we packed out a church in downtown Ann Arbor, MI - and we just praised the Lord and heard truth! One of the things the speaker was talking about was seeing God as a PERSON, not an idea. And I thought about that for awhile.


"Am I seeing God as an idea rather than a person to hold a conversation with? Am I treating God as an object to talk to or am I allowing him to speak to me while I listen? Am I allowing the Lord into every area of my life or am I controlling some and only giving over what I know will work? Am I allowing the Lord to know me freely, or am I closing him out of some of the most formational years of my life?"


As these questions ran through my head, I realized that I try to allow the Lord to speak to me, but only when I want him to. This would include times of daily prayer. Times I have set aside in my day to look to God for guidance, wisdom, grace and anything else he wants to throw my way. But other than these "planned" times, I don't always allow the Lord to speak to me. I don't freely ask him into my daily activities and schedule. I sometimes plain ignore him...and I know that needs to change. 


Being the person who is in control of their own life is not what God wants for me (or honestly, for anyone). If I am to fully call myself a follower, a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ, I need to also allow myself to be led by him. Not in just the times I want, but in the times I need and in the times that are going well. The Lord is calling to me and I am just beginning to answer this call - and seeing how stubborn I really am, it's gonna take awhile. 


The bottom line is: I want to be known by the King of Kings and I want him to know me. I want to be open with him and him with me. I want to do whatever he wants me to do - because that's true love. When I can look to Him and see the beautiful plan he has for me and say, "Yes!" with a resounding voice, and I will know that I have at least accomplished that which he has set before me now: the ability to see myself as he sees me. Beautiful, grace-filled and his Daughter.


Thanks for keeping with me this far - it was a long post today, but it's how life goes. :)


C-Bear